


Me Inside Of Me

by Sunshinecackle



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: Dissociation, Gay, Intense Descriptions Of Panic Attempts, M/M, Panic Attacks, Slash, Yaoi, non-con kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 02:11:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18436874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunshinecackle/pseuds/Sunshinecackle
Summary: Henry couldn’t take it tonight.





	Me Inside Of Me

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, this one is going to be pretty heavy. Another quick warning: It has INTENSE descriptions of dissociation and panic attacks. But I don’t feel like this is very OOC, to be honest. I hope you guys enjoy this, even if it’s a little bit on the rough side.

Times like this always left Henry tense, wound tight like a spring ready to snap. Patrick had that look in his eyes, the wild stare, the sneering grin, and it always put him on edge. The way his tongue swiped his bottom lip, and he encroached like a jaguar in the brush, all rolling shoulders and devious intent. It didn’t matter if he turned his face away, the other’s hand would drag his chin back. 

When their lips met, his eyes squeezed shut so tight he felt his skin ripping at the back of his head. Patrick’s tongue prodded the seam of his tightly closed lips and he turned his head away again. Patrick was saying something about him playing coy, being shy, and Henry couldn’t take it. Pushing the other away, he snapped something, his heart hammering in his ears so hard he couldn’t hear himself. 

Next thing he knew, he was outside, the world spinning around him, leaving him forgotten in a numb cocoon that paralyzed and empowered him. Eyes darting around the street, a chill wind hitting him as he realized the sun was moving in slow motion down the sky, and he could almost see the hands guiding it down to the treeline. 

Before he knew it, he could feel the branches of trees whipping his face and arms, his shoes crunching along the ground. At one point, mud splashed his face and he registered after a moment that his chest had slammed into the ground and he couldn’t breathe. His heart stuttered and he gaped and floundered, hands on fire and numb at the same time as he begged his lungs to work again.

The offending root that tripped him wrapped around his leg like a snake, winding up from his ankle and choking the life out of him. In an instant it was gone, and the forest was behind him. He vaguely registered the burning in his legs as he crashed to his knees by the Barrens, chest heaving as he desperately gulped down air like a drowning man’s last attempt at surviving. 

Tears poured down his cheeks, hot and burning like acid, and he didn’t even care that his nose was dripping onto his pants. Holding his quaking hands in front of his face, he choked on a sob and crumpled down, holding his knees and sitting in an almost fetal position. He stayed there until an odd calm followed the chaos in his brain, the soft roll of the water here soothing him. 

Laying on his side, he closed his eyes, still curled up as he just rested through it. It was an easier pill to swallow now that he’d gotten his head back together, the intensity of his weeping leaving him drained and boneless. It wouldn’t be a bad place to nap, even in the dark. Nothing would bother him, here; he was safe, now.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, that ended up being more intense than I thought it would. It was both therapeutic and a little bit jarring to write, but I hope you guys enjoyed it nonetheless. 
> 
> Prompt: Anxiety


End file.
